I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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