sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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