Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
