Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
