I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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