I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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