We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
