either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
