Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
