Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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