It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you will always have a special place in my vag
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize