Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I need water and some morals
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
