VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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