It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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