Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
