soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it's great music for shaving your balls
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
