her vagina looked like bernie madoff
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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