i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
this is an emotional support booty call
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
