yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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