I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
