when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
