when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
