Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I should be sponsored by Trojan
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
