You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
