he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
