FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
no you cant smoke seaweed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
