She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
