She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
