She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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