like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
