i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
