After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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