Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
