she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
How's work?
Spinning.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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