Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You made out with two different species that night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize