No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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