we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
