I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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