you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
