is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
