I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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