i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
accomplished twins. life is a go
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
