idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
