guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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