Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
