I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
