Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Alive.
So much puke
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize