I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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