Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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