What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
