That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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