We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
