Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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