2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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