Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
