overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
