Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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