If i come over, it means nothing
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
