Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
