You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
